Monkey Jokes

A man invites a friend to watch his prize duck hunting dog at work.
They approach the first pond, the dog runs ahead into the brush. He comes back and waves his tail once. The owner tells his friend that this means there is one duck on the pond. They walk up, and sure enough, one duck flies off.
At the second pond, the dog waves his tail three times. The owner explains that this means there are three ducks on the pond. When they walk up, exactly three ducks take flight.
At the third pond, the dog runs back and forth, humping the hunters' legs and chasing his tail. The friend asks what in the world this means. The owner explains, "This means there are so many f**king ducks on that pond, he can't even count them."

A cop comes around a curve in the road and sees a bad accident. A man and a woman are both dead in the wreckage.
He looks up on the hill and sees a monkey waving his arms at him as if to say something. The cop says, "Hey, monkey, do you know what happened?"
The monkey mimes drinking a bottle. "They were drinking? What else?"
The monkey mimes smoking a joint. "They were smoking dope? What else?"
The monkey mimes sexual relations. "They were screwing? This doesn't make any sense. How did you see all of this?"
Monkey mimes driving.