Stole my car but forgot my wife
A drunk walks out of a bar with a key in his hand and he is stumbling back and forth.
A cop sees him and approaches him and asks,-Can I help you Sir?
Yessh! Ssssomebody ssstole my carr, the man replies.
The cop asks, -Where was your car the last time you saw it?
It wasss on the end of thisshh key, the man replies.
About that time the cop looks down and sees the mans wiener hanging out of his fly for all the world to see.
He asks the man, -Sir are you aware that you are exposing yourself?
Momentarily confused, the drunk looks down at his crotch and without missing a beat, blurts out.
Holy shit! My girlfriend is gone, too!!
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